Week 12 LT

...she felt really ill..


It was a snow night  and i was having a sleep over me and my friend were going to play minecraft it was fun i made my dad his own world I made him a fishing pond It was fun Because at the end it was super nice I put a tent near it until We Got bored So We Played Among Us it was fun Until my friend started coughing and she felt really ill.So my parents called her mom and dad and they picked her up and she Went home. theend


Comments

  1. Kia ora LT. Well done on your 100 Word Challenge this week. I like how you've set the scene at the beginning with 'It was a snowy night'. Sounds like a fun sleep-over until the coughing started! Just watch that those sentences don't get too long. Keep up the great writing LT.
    Heidi (Team 100WC, New Zealand)

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  2. Wow! you did a really good job and you write it very good 👍👍👍I like your vocabulary's

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  3. you did an amazing job

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  4. good job LT, I like how you underlined she felt really ill. but I do think you may need to read over it when your done. instead of theend do, the end. and there's not really any periods till she felt really ill. and maybe do it was a snowy night not it was a snow night. I don't like the creativity I love it.
    I like how you used among us. there's a lot of ands maybe you can think of a different word like then or something. LT you are so creative and i love it. keep up the great work

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  5. Good job but you should check your grammar and cops


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